Monday, May 12, 2008

Life is a Cruel Mistress.

Judged in the Name of God - - - - Ye Not Guilty

Actually, what I put up there, must be an utter lie.  I believe I am guilty, how so? Let me explain.

My life is getting progressively worse, I love how people say "Oh, It'll get better" and then another bad thing happens.  Yesterday I almost got a two day suspension, but managed to get a saturday detention.  Then in my next class (the teacher who reported me teaches this.) the teacher thought I was proud of it (even though I wasn't, she just cut me off and said I was arrogant.) and stuck me out in the hall, called my parents, and was on the verge of giving me a referral. 

Oh? Not that bad you say?  How about number two?  The fact anyone I could even feasibly be interested in is taken, or perhaps in one instance hates me.

Number three?  How about the fact my only salvation, a summer in NZ, has gotten its dates fucked up, which might mean July 16th- August 9th, compared with last year's June 25th- July 25th.

Life has turned into hell.

I also feel I am losing my sanity, or that is, whenever I'm not drugged up on sleeping pills so I can't feel the near-constant pain (I ended up having to take sleeping pills in fourth class yesterday, and for some reason they managed to semi-last until the beginning of Youth Court).

You hear that? It's the resonant echo that is almost on a constant replay in my head, it's a constant reminder of my pain and sorrow, I don't even know what's happening, and I make it go away with, what else? sleeping pills.  Hello Mr. Ambien, nice to meet you.

It feels as if the only reason keeping me alive is the future, the hope that in 7 3/8 years everything will turn out like I hope it to, hopefully it will.

But I must ask you this-

If I go crazy will you still call me Superman?

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